9 ways to last longer in bed
Posted By Sahil Chand
For most guys,
the bedroom is probably the one place you don't want to finish first.
Sex experts (and, we assume, you) agree that nothing makes a guy feel
more insecure than coming up short when it matters most. So if you're
plagued by this sexual shortcoming, relax—there are numerous ways to
boost your sexual endurance and last longer in bed.
“All men have their own extending technique, from thinking about
football or baseball or counting backwards in their heads,” says A.L.
Harper, a sex expert and former editor of a U.K.-based men’s magazine.
“However, these distraction techniques can end up making guys worse in
bed because they aren't paying attention to their partner's pleasure.”
If you’re curious to find out the real ways to last longer, so you
don't kill the mood for the both of you, check out these tips. We asked
three top industry experts to share the advice they give their
clients—no Viagra required.
1. Study the Kama Sutra
“There is a technique mentioned in the Kama Sutra for delaying
ejaculations that basically comes down to training yourself to last
longer,” says Harper. Start slowly—with no more than one “in/out” stroke
every three seconds. “Then, add more strokes, slowly, over the course
of 4 or 5 minutes, until you're moving one stroke per second.” If you
start to feel like you're going to come, stop and “hold yourself inside
your partner until you feel in control again, then begin the whole
process again.”
2. Get out of your head
“Performance anxiety is the number-one killer of erections,” says
Patti Britton, a board-certified clinical sexologist. “Shift your
thinking to a more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried
voice.” A “self-debilitating mindset” is what shuts guys down, she
explains. “When you begin to feel anxiety, stop, take a breath, and get
out of your head—focusing, instead, on the feelings your body is
producing for you.”
3. Slow down
“Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many men are so
fond of, try taking your time,” says Toyooka. Sex at a slower pace leads
to a more connected experience for both people. “It’s more sensual
because you're caressing and exploring the rest of her body. Kiss her
neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body,” she says.
The most important thing to keep in mind that will help you last
longer? Enjoy the journey that leads to your destination.
4. Use a duration spray
If you're still struggling to last longer, consider using a "delay spray," like K-Y Duration.
It's an endurance enhancer that desensitizes the nerves in your penis
with as little as three sprays (and as many as 10). Relax, it's not like
novacane; the active ingredient is lidocaine (which has been proven
safe and effective by the FDA). You'll still enjoy sensations, too.
Think of this as your key to turning a manic sprint into an immensely
gratifying marathon.
5. Try a different kind of exercise
Dr. Britton suggests exercising the PC muscles (or pubococcygeus
muscle, if we’re being technical). They’re the ones that stretch from
your pubic to tail bone. To figure out how to squeeze and contract them,
try stopping your urine flow while you’re in the middle of peeing.
You’ll know it when you try it. Three sets of 15 reps per day should do
the trick. “Daily PC muscle reps help a guy to literally pump himself
up. Squeezing those muscles triggers good blood flow to the penis, which
in turn leads to mental confidence,” she says.
6. Practice the 7 and 9 method
Like the Kama Sutra method (mentioned in no. 1, above), Harper
recommends the 7 and 9 technique. “It's 7 fast in/out strokes, followed
by 9 slow in/out strokes. Then repeat: 7 fast, 9 slow, 7 fast, 9 slow,”
she says. “This rhythm is good for guys who don't last quite as long as
their partner needs, and good for the ladies, as it establishes a good
rhythm for her stimulation too.”
7. Don’t go deep
“If you feel that continued deep thrusting will bring on an
all-too-quick orgasm, try penetrating only the lower portion of her
vagina—in other words, take more shallow thrusts,” says Toyooka. “Also,
alternating between shallow and deep thrusts can make you last longer,
and will also make the experience a lot more fun!”
9. Change things up
The best thing to do if you’re getting close to the edge? Alter your speed, advises human sexuality expert Catherine Toyooka,
the founder of Catherine Coaches sex workshops. “Try teasing her," she
suggests. "Take your penis out and rub just the head of it sensually up
and down and between her labia. Vaginas have lots of nerve endings
clustered in the lower portion of their vaginal canal, so this move will
still be very enjoyable for her to experience.”
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